I am 55 years old and I am embarrassed by the state of my health and the appearance of my body. I take numerous daily medications for a laundry list of diagnosis, my BMI is 50.7, my scale can no longer “accommodate” my current weight—gulp—and I’m pretty sure that an airplane seatbelt will no longer fit—double gulp.

I’ve posted the obligatory headshot photo of myself to the right. A reminder: this picture and the one I post for the About Page is not my before, this is my RIGHT NOW! I am hopeful for my after. At this current moment there is no “…and she lived happily ever after” photo. A happy ending in which… Hmmmm. What do I want my after to feel like? Let me think a minute and manifest something good. In my after: I am active. I am outgoing (yikes, I don’t think weight loss can change that). I am no longer taking many daily prescription meds. I am no longer in pain. My labs are back to normal and my health is no longer tipping crisis levels. My doctors can look me in the eye. I feel physically my age rather than 90. I still have my gray; yes, I’m keeping that. I am less ashamed of my body and don’t see and feel the eyes of others looking me up and down and noticing Bertha. I am more clear-headed and confident. And, gosh darn it, people like me.